The Film (0.5/5)

 As I’ve liked my share of both low-budget biker movies like Satan’s Sadists and vintage porn, I could be down with a title that combines the two. Unfortunately, Bad, Bad, Gang! commits the worst sin of either genre: it’s boring. At just over an hour, this painfully generic hardcore sexploitation title was a tough sit to get through. I owe you a review that lasts more than a few sentences, and I’m going to try, but I can save you some time right now: even judged by the flexible standards of early-70s no-budget porn, this movie sucks.

 The movie begins with two couples - the Biblically-named Eve, Jane, Kane and Able (sp) - arriving at a desert campsite for a weekend of peace and free love. The movie’s highlight, a scissoring scene featuring Rene Bond (which isn’t erotic but deserves a little credit for depicting scissoring decades before that was a commonly used term), arrives early on. Before long, though, the couples’ weekend is interrupted by a group of rowdy bikers that want to have their own fun. And by “fun,” I mean rape. Lots and lots of rape.

 I’m not feigning outrage at this dumb movie, but I want to be clear. If you don’t like rape in your porn, skip this one. And if you don’t mind or enjoy rape fantasies enacted in porn...still skip this one, because it’s unbelievably boring. As is mentioned in the DVD’s liner notes, this movie was clearly shot on some very hot days, as everyone is sunburned and sweaty and generally looks exhausted. Maybe the heat is to blame for the lackluster performances - if you’re into lazy sex, a lot of oral performed on guys who can’t get it up, and vast expanses of reddened flesh aimlessly pounding each other against a backdrop of rocks and sand, have I got a move for you.

Audio/Video (2/5)

 Impluse’s DVD of Bad, Bad, Gang! presents the movie in its original (I’m guessing) 1.33:1 aspect ratio. This is not any sort of spiffy new restoration - it looks every bit its age, with fading, scratches, dirt and worn colors running throughout the film. The 1.0 mono audio, is, similarly, faded and scratchy. If you know this going in, the vintage quality of the presentation could be fun (if anything about the movie were fun), and it’s possible that this is the best the movie could look. Also, this is apparently a more complete version of the film than previous releases, although the movie’s frequent, jarring edits suggest that there’s still quite a bit missing.

Extras (0.5/5)

 The disc includes a trailer for Impluse’s Peep Show Collection, and an insert with an essay by “Porn Archaeologist” Dimitrious Otis is included.

Overall:

 This is a bad, bad, movie.