"Silk Satin Sex" (2.5/5)

In the world of lingerie, sexy undergarments reign as supreme kings for Valerie, a prosperous lingerie entrepreneur, who aims to release upon the world her and her husband’s next fashionable, yet sexy, panty product line.  To effectively market her next revolutionary stage of inviting lacy panties, Valerie red letter invites four hand picked employee prospects to be door-to-door saleswomen, but before the willing-to-do-anything pitch, and catch, women hit the streets with a suitcase full of provocative panties, Valerie and the four gorgeous nymphomaniacs conduct a meet and greet in order to get to know each other better.  When the suggestion that everyone reveal how they met their husbands materializes on the discussion floor, the women recollect the tantalizing, hot and passionate initial moments of getting to know their future husbands, inside and out, and work up a steamy conversation made up of the most ferocious of fantasies.

The first sleazy feature on this Peekarama Big 2 Unit Show from cult curator, Vinegar Syndrome, is the commonly-catchy adult title “Satin Silk Sex” from director Lawrence Talbot.  The 1983 chic hardcore fashions to deliver more than just scandalizing underwear, courting a roundtable outlet of recalling steamy first meets with their husband's meats and amid their divulgements, a couple of uninhibited housewives turn aroused and dive into physically getting to know their competition's lady assets, especially where Valerie's panties are surely to be snug and form fitting.  Talbot's debut feature rosters the adult industry's most horniest housewives with legendary starlet power that sets the bar well before E! Entertainment dispersed The Housewives of...whereever...reality television series and instead of bitch slapping drama, "Silk Satin Sex's" 'oh-no-you-didn't' moment just involves a lot of interlocking flesh and plentiful of dirty pillow talk.

The once AVN top ten of all time ranked Vanessa del Rio, "Great Sexpectations'" Joanna Storm, and the stunning Mai Lin of "Sex Wars" are just a few notable names on the docket; however, the cast list majorly looks tired and haggard.  Vanessa del Rio looks unrecognizable from her career in the 1970s as I'm sure her excessive drug use had taken its unfortunate toll on her appearance, but atleast her rack still remains voluptuous.  Other starlets, such as the sinewy Jesie St. James and the petite brunette Tiffany Clark, are caked with makeup, hair stiffed with hairspray chemicals, and, overall, have a resemblance more similar to that of the French aristocracy of the 17th century with giant (wig) hair and ghostly faces both stark white.  Male performers, in my opnion, had much, much more spirit to contribute from the dialoge free role in Paul Thomas to the excess slimeball and cowboy spew from a scrawny Jose Duval and a beefy Jerry Butler.  Sporting a rad 80s mullet, Bill Michaels only shining moment out of his cockeyed and soft intertwinment with a lively Jesie St. James is the giant squirrel tail that's upon his noggin.  Fortunately for viewers, "Silk Satin Sex" is Bill Michaels' only film.

Talbot's first directorial venture into the X-rated market isn't an ostentatious display of effort produced by the Ashton Releasing company.  The director's cut and dry editing and inapt characters categorizes the film as a sultry snoozer with Mai Lin being one of the few highlights in her one-on-one scenes with a rediculously dockered up Jose Duval and a spaced out Joanna Storm.  Lin's delivery is more natural, even if her jokes fall flatter than Jesie St. James breasts, and she provides that exotic approach whereas Vanessa del Rio becomes a plus size stain that's solidifyingly not a good look for the once flamboyant starlet.  With more time, Talbot may would have succumb to smoothing out the rough edges and employ fresher, younger talent blended with well-aged professionals to bloom a stellar spunk film far from his freshman mediocracy that attaches itself to tired success.

Turn On With Kelly Nichols (1.5/5)

Do you want to know how to completely satisfy your partner sexually?  The adult industry's Kelly Nichols hosts an exhibit of sexual education from the simplest of foreplays to the kinkiest of sex acts that'll sure to turn your partner hot with passion.  Who needs High School sex education with a grouchy old gym teacher when the gorgeous and ever beddable Kelly Nichols takes you by the hand, paving the way for easy sexual delights.

The second showing on this Vinegar Syndrome Big 2 Unit Show is totally about the sexual education.  "Satin Silk Sex" director Lawrence Talbot helms "Satin Silk Sex" co-star Kelly Nichols as herself, hosting the various stages and methods of carnal pleasures in 1984's "Turn On With Kelly Nichols.  Complete with 1980's swag, including a sexy circular shaped rotating bed, Talbot's step-by-step guide starts innocently enough on how with flirt and casual foreplay, continuing through the thorough levels of cunnilingus, fellatio, and intercourse.  There are also chapters on toys, making "Turn On With Kelly Nichols" a complete three college credit course. 

Many of the studs and starlets are cast to just perform, as though many should.  "Sleazy Rider" Tiajia Rae, Brooke Fields ("Maid in Manhatten, no, not that film), and "Hypersexuals" Sharon Kane exhibit themselves one-on-one with their male counterparts "Silk Satin Sex's" Jose Duval, Dick Howard of "Great Sexpectations," and "Urban Heat's" Klaus Multia.  The way the scenes play out, "Turn On With Kelly Nichols" speaks more to the actual act of trying to lovingly turn on your partner.  The sleaze portion like money shots, anal, and unorthodox positions are completely omitted, kicking the rough, sweaty, nasty fantasies to the curb and becoming more conservative.  Kelly Nichols does some solo action on the side with masturbation and squeezing her breasts, but that's the most of her scenes' extent.

There's really not much else to say about "Turn On With Kelly Nichols" due in part to the very self-help structure that it's based on.  I will say this, the title does not turn me on because everytime I see it, read it, or type it, it reminds me of "Live with Regis Philman or Kelly Ripa" and thinking of Regis Philman getting turned on is a total boner kill.  "Turn On With Kelly Nichols" might not turn me on, but for the average joe, the casaul porn view, Lawrence Talbot's graphic guide will hold your hand through the ancient art of love making and stimulation.  It might even get you laid or maybe will just serve as spank bank material; either way, "Turn On With Kelly Nichols" is a win-win for the casaul viewer, but a complete miss for the hardcore enthusiasts that may think this project was an utter waste of Kelly Nichols God gifted talents.

Audio/Video (3/5)

Known for their Godsend restoration of the classics, Vinegar Syndrome scans and restores both films in 2k from their 35mm pre-print elements, presenting them in their original aspect ratios - an anamorphic widescreen 1.85:1 for 'Silk Satin Sex"and a widescreen 1.33:1 for "Turn On With Kelly Nichols."  Both films are hazy soft, leaving defined edges to the imagination and the natural coloring to a small percentage; however, despite the softness and slight grain, these are the best versions of these fims we'll most likely ever see in our liftime and they still look good. 

The single channel Dolby Digital track is par for the course.  Slight inconsistences in the dialogue and the occasion pop between transitional scenes.  I wouldn't call these defects deal breakers, but might become a blip on the A/V radar if you're keeping an eye out of them.  With only a touch or two of a hiss, Kelly Nichols dialogue is fairly crisp with her consistent monolguing through sexual practices.

Extras (0.5/5)

Only extra available is the original theatrical trailer for "Silk Satin Sex."

Overall

Lawrence Talbot's sole two credits show their age and don't dazzle in a time of sexual prowless amongst more infamous and more creative adult filmmaking and with some starlets showing how the business has aged them, I wouldn't count on "Silk Satin Sex" and "Turn On WIth Kelly Nichols" being at the top of the must-see's for re-issued 1983-1984 triple X features.